The big blow out! Mom entered my room, I can only imagine after grilling my sibling about her weight, spending habits and other things. She was on the war path and it just so happened that I was the nect victim. I heard a knock which lead to her helping herself into my room as though she owned it. To be honest, she pays the mortgage so every room in this house belongs to her. Immediately she went into the amount of pop cans that were all over my bedroom, and the garbage bag which she assumed was filled with crumpled up chip bags and empty pop cans.
She wanted to prove that I wasnt as serious about getting healthy as I had said I was. She wanted to know what had happened to the plan that we had set out to get into shape and follow through with our exercise plan, or weekly meetings and the fact that not only myself, her but my sister were serious about making life changes. I can admit that in the month before this argument happened I had been extremely depressed, was eating junk food like it was going out of style, and of course was hiding the evidence in the comfort of my bedroom where I thought no one would notice. I mean who was I kidding, the only person I was really hurting by being so dishonest was myself.
She had told me that she wanted me to get tested for the bipolar disease as my biological father is Manic-Depressive Bipolar and has been for 25 years. It was a disease that drove my parents to their divorce in the first place. My father was constantly quitting jobs, giving his ring back to her with notes saying she deserved better, leaving money with the ring and note to pay for upcoming bills. Then days later returning to say he didnt mean to leave and that he wanted her and me oh so bad. When I hear her side of the relationship it almost sounds like hell. Especially after having me. I can only imagine it was extremely hard for her to make the decision to end the marriage and move back to Ontario. However, my father was reaslly sick and he disorder hadnt been diagnosed yet. My parents were married for 5 years before their relationship ended. It was right before I was to turn 1 that they officially separated and that was that. I still to this day cant get any concrete story or explaination as to what happened. My mother doesnt like to speak about him because his sickness makes him upset. Especially because he seems to have the same shit going on that he did years ago. He cant seem to let anything go. My thoughts are he is still in love with her and as much as he is on his third marriage, he knows how much he fucked up and that he lost the love of his life. Well too bloody bad.
My mom wanted to discuss with me the fact that she was concerned I may have to same thing my father did, she was noticing patterns. 6 week cycles. She suggested that I go and see a therapist to deal with things that had not been dealt with yet. She also wanted me to get on some medication to level me out. So I did just that. I went to the doctor who prescribed me a low dose of Seroquel, a months supply that she said would tie me over until I found a family doctor. From the moment I started taking the medication until now I have felt a difference. I am sleeping throughtout the night, I am feeling more mello, and it has been easier to deal with things that would normally set me off.
