The title of my life story is "I Started Out As A Small Boy".  Most readers will wonder "What is up with this dude choosing a stupid title such as this?" Well, I have to admit that it is hardly a unique beginning.  I suspect that of the approximate 7 billion people people inhabiting planet earth at this moment, about 3.5 billion of them may have started out the same way.

But then again, every story must start somewhere and I am convinced that mine started on April 29, 1937 in the Larned Kansas "Hospital".  I put Hospital in quotes because Larned was a very small Western Kansas town in 1937 and the "Hospital" was nothing more than a small building with several rooms devoted to the sick and injured and with midwives available on call to come in and help with the birthing process.

As I approach my 72nd birthday I have come to realize that my time here on earth is most likely becoming limited and that my ticket to ride could be invalidated at any time.  I also have come to realize that there is probably a lot about my life which my immediate family and close friends do not know.  I have concluded, therefore, that I should tackle the daunting task of putting down on paper that which I can remember of my past and I am hopeful that it will make for interesting reading for family and friends as well as future generations.

People who teach writing classes often stress that everyone should write their own life story because each life story is totally unique and worthy of telling.  In contemplating this concept I have to agree with the theory although i have struggled mightily to attempt to find significant parts of my life which would be thought to be truly unique and which would clearly set me apart from others.

Saddam Hussein's Birthday

I was born within hours of that scoundrel.  He arrived in this world on April 28, 1937 in the small town of Tikrit, Iraq and I popped out in Larned, Kansas just a few hours later.

Although time wise we both had the same starting point in this world, thankfully I took a different route than he did.  We all know  what a flaming asshole he turned out to be.  I, on the other hand, became only a minor pain in the ass.

The final chapter of his life began in a dark and musty hole in the ground where he was finally discovered by American troops.  As you know, he ended up dangling from the end of a rope shortly thereafter.  I am obviously still alive and kicking.  Saddam's life took a wrong turn when he decided that it was a good idea to fire bullets into the heads of many of his fellow countrymen.  I thankfully was able to skid past many bad turns during my life's journey without doing anyone any real harm.

Playing Basketball With Wilt Chamberlain

Wilt was also a contemporary of mine having been born in Philly on August 21, 1936.

We both shared a love for basketball and we both received a basketball scholarship from the University of Kansas as freshmen back in 1955.

There the similarities ended.  Wilt was a tremendous basketball player who went on to star at KU, join the Harlem Globetrotters, and subsequently enter the NBA where he played for many years and set numerous records which still stand today.

I quickly found out that my skills were sadly overmatched at the KU basketball level and, after a heart to heart talk with Coach Dick Harp right after the Christmas break in 1955, I transferred my basketball scholarship to a tennis scholarship and went on to play several years of varsity tennis for KU.

Before giving up on KU basketball though Wilt and I made quite a splash!  In year in November at KU the Varsity back in those days played a pre-season exhibition game against the freshman team.  Up until 1955 the freshmen had never won and, in fact, were usually humiliated by the Varsity.  Things were quite different however in 1955.  The freshmen won by more than 20 points and Wilt and I together scored a total of 43 points.  (Wilt had 42 and I was one for two from the free throw line).

Wilt, like Saddam, was also fond of firing bullets albeit of a different kind.  Wilt claimed to have fired over 20,000 during his life and, having showered with the boy, I can attest to the fact that he certainly had a large caliber gun!  Wilt sadly passed away in 1999 due to a heart attack.  I do not know the details but I like to think he might have been firing down range at the time of his demise!

I Survived A Stupid Business Acquisition

Every since an oil well was drilled near the Sieverling farm back in the early nineteen forties I have been fascinated about the oil business and the possibilities of making money there.

Luckily when I joined the large CPA firm of Arthur Andersen in Kansas City after college I was offered the opportunity to work on the income tax return of their largest individual income tax client, who I shall refer to as "Mister K".  I was chosen because he was just starting to get involved in oil and gas investments and, clearly  seeing the opportunity, I cleverly convinced the Andersen folks that I knew something about oil and gas.  Actually my knowledge was limited to knowing what a pump jack looked like, but they bought my line of bs and assigned me to his engagement.

To make a long story short, I prepared his individual income tax returns from 1960 until his death in 1989.  During that time he spent over 30 million dollars exploring for oil in Western Kansas and I was able to learn the business very thoroughly from the accounting and income tax vantage point.

Mr K and I became very good friends during that time.  Even though his annual dividend and interest income was over 3 million per year, I was able to get him qualified to receive Social Security benefits.  His benefits only amounted to $740 per month but he was extremely proud of the fact that he was getting something back after having paid into the system for many years.  I was also able to steer him through several IRS examinations with no changes being proposed.  We developed a deep mutual respect for each other throughout our association of nearly 30 years.

In 1983 Mr. K told me that he thought it was time for him to get out of the oil business.  He was getting up in age, had oil properties in 18 different Kansas counties and knew that the probate process at death would be a nightmare and very expensive.

Being young and dumb I proposed to im that I evaluate the properties snd make him an offer to acquire them personally.  He readily agreed.  I studied them for several months, running a number of different cash flow assumptions and came to the realization that an appropriate price for the properties would be $6.2 million dollars.

I only problem I foresaw was that my available liquid cash was only $10,000 and I knew that he would never accept a ridiculous offer of $10,000 down with him carrying my personal note back for $6,190,000 payable over a number of years.

In examining the situation further I figured out that I could stretch his accounts payable to the various oil well operators to 30 days (Mr. K paid every bill the same day it came into his office) and use one month's oil revenue as the down payment.

So I sucked up all the courage I could muster, went into his office and offered him $6.2 million for the properties with $300,000 as a cash down payment and $5,900,000 payable to him over five years at 9% interest.  These figures worked for me assuming that the oil price would stay at $30 per barrel.  That seemed like a "slam dunk" assumption because everyone in the industry was predicting $40 oil in the future.

To my great surprise, Mr. K thought the offer was probably reasonable but wanted to run it past several people in the oil business to see what they thought.  He did, and they agreed that the price was just about exactly right.

So, we closed the deal, and as you might guess, the oil price did not go up to $40 and instead started to tall and got down to as low as $8 per bbl.  I was able to make the first two payments of $1,200,000 plus interest but by year three it became apparent that all I could pay was the interest.  I went into Mr. K and laid all the cards on the table.  Thankfully he graciously told me that he knew that I was doing all that I could and that if I would continue with that effort, he would go along with me just paying him what I could when I could.  He saved my ass!  Any other creditor would have pulled the plug, taken the properties back and sued for the unpaid balance.

I was finally able to get him paid but it took ten years instead of five.  When Mr. K passed away he left his estate of $160 million to charity.  He was a great guy and a great friend.

So......there you have it.  That is my life story.  It didn't take long to write and certainly didn't take long to read.  But "Wait" you say, "There must be more considering the fact t that you have been stumbling around on this planet for 72 odd years."

Obviously there is more and I will attempt to lay out the details in the following pages.  I must caution the reader, however, that it is not all pretty and some of the stories would be enough to make a tavern wench blush, but they are all true and all are a part of the life of N. Lynne Sieverling.  I hope you enjoy the read.